Stuff.

After my failed shot at 2/4, I've been rebuilding my bankroll for the next shot and it... Well, it's been a bumpy ride. But now, after half the month is through, I've finally managed to work myself up to break-even for the month which puts me in a good spot to try again. Maybe this time I won't lose 3 all-in-on-the turn pots in a row as a 80%+ favorite. I'm not a big fan of the EV graphs because they represent only one portion of luck in poker, but after these couple of weeks I just had this overwhelming feeling of being completely shafted in these spots so I took a look. And sure enough, there it was - 20 buy-ins below EV for the month of February. Still, I'm now back at break-even, but it was a tough climb filled with the occasional "oh for FUCK'S SAKE!"followed by a grunt and a deep sigh and then by a tilt-check which I usually passed.

Yesterday, I decided to play in the Sunday Warm-up on Stars, a tournament that I have previously gone 3/4 in cashing in, but bubbled out yesterday when I decided to go for it with AK 26 seats before the bubble. Blinds 1500/3000, my stack was 50k. Got called by AT on the button who had me covered, flop came A-8-4, two spades, I bet a committing amount and followed up with a shove on the turn when the third spade hit and it was a ten. Button snap-called and I was drawing to three kings on the river but didn't get there. Ah, well.

I keep doing pretty well in tournaments, yet I feel slightly uncomfortable the whole time I'm playing then. Keep being paranoid. Keep feeling like I'm scared money. I don't like it. Maybe I won't play tournaments anymore. Who knows.

On the cash game side, I've decided to stop desperately chasing bonuses on Party. I'm utterly convinced that attempting to put in big volumes of hands is hurting my bottom line much more than the bonuses help to up it. I simply can't play my best for 2,000 hand stretches. I admire people who can routinely keep their focus for that long, but I think I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not one of them. So I simply have to play shorter sessions and quite possibly try to play a bit fewer tables as well, aiming for the 5-6 table sweet spot and try to stay away from the occasional 12 table set-up that I sometimes toy with. I want to make thin value bets, well-timed river bluff raises and perfectly sized c-bets and double barrels, but I feel like my ability to pull this off gets seriously diminished when the action is on me on 3 other tables while I'm trying to decide what to do.

So, to recap:

Step 1: Fewer tables, shorter sessions, better decisions.
Step 2:
Step 3: Profit.

Maybe I don't need a step 2.