The first night at home was, as most of you may suspect, mostly sleepless. Mom is doing fine (as well as anyone under the circumstances, I'd guess), dad walks around in a sleepy haze most of the time, and Benjamin is working on his leet eating skillz. He has them. Almost.
We were scheduled for labor induction on Friday morning, and knowing this, there was not a lot of sleep happening even the night before the baby was born; nervousness set in, for both Lori and me. But besides being tired from the get-go, everything worked out alright, and he was born roughly 9 hours after the midwife punctured the amniotic sac. We stayed the night, got him checked out by the pediatrician and were sent home yesterday afternoon.
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... and I'm already back at the games. I have a $650 bonus to clear at Party that requires me to get 400 party points a day until the 25th. So far, I'm on schedule, and playing about 3,000 hands a day does the trick, and that's roughly the volume I set for myself as a goal anyway. Unfortunately, I've been running about as bad as I can imagine running for an extended period of time and am experiencing all the usual self-doubts and loss of confidence that follows. I'm sure my opponents think I suck, and personally I feel like I'm getting owned left and right, in almost every big pot - but I rationally realize that getting owned left and right is what happens when you're dealt a great, but second best, hand over and over again, and not nearly often enough getting action when you have the nuts yourself.
Still, I managed to grind out a small profit today after being down in the vicinity of 4 buy-ins at the low point, so that's good. I'm roughly break-even for the month including bonuses, which sucks, but I'll manage. The tide will turn and I will run well again - all I can do in the meantime is make sure I continue table selecting carefully, staying focused and logging the hands. It'll come in due time. I'm still feeling very optimistic about having a winning month overall - and while I don't want to tempt fate, I'll happily concede that even a break-even month is certainly no disaster. My long-term win-rate at 1/2 - current monster downswing included - is 4bb/100, and I have no reason whatsoever to believe that my game has deteriorated to a point where I'm suddenly losing money. In fact, I think I play better now than I ever have, and while I'm sure some of my opponents are getting better as well, I never sit at a table that doesn't have at least one big donor available.
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And, seriously, in the grand scheme of things - what's a downswing? I have a son!
5 comments:
Big congrats to both of ye from myself and Tracy. Any name decided yet ?
I think you'll like his middle name:
Benjamin Liam Ceangailte Paulsson. :)
Ahhhh nice to see I was remembered :)
Unfortunately it means he will likely be 25 or so before you can understand what he says :p
Congratulations Fredrik on the birth of your son... What a high you must be on!.... now, get back to the tables.
Cheers,
Congrats on your new son!!!
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